You Have Only Two Paths Post Your Divorce

Going through a divorce or major breakup puts you at a major crossroads.

You’ve basically got two options: start healing and move on, or stay stuck and dwell in your misery. I’m not telling you this from some ivory tower or as a bookworm who’s never faced real-world pain. I’m sharing this as someone who’s been through the wringer of grief and despair post-divorce. There were days when I called in sick to work and burned through my vacation days just to lie in bed all day. Not wanting to do anything, just merely existing and letting life slip by.

If only I had the insights back then that I do now, I wouldn’t have wasted so much precious time. In the end, time is our most valuable asset. Opting to heal and move on is essentially choosing strength. It’s about rediscovering who you are, growing from your experiences, and realizing life still has plenty to offer. Carl Jung, a guy who knew a thing or two about personal struggles, once said;

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

This path isn’t about erasing the past but learning from it and doing better because of it. Research supports the notion that maintaining a positive outlook helps immensely. Studies in psychology have shown that folks who manage to stay optimistic after tough times generally end up happier and healthier. It’s about making lemonade out of the lemons life throws at you and finding ways to be okay again. Staying Stuck It’s completely normal to feel hurt after a breakup, but dwelling on that pain for too long can seriously drag you down. I’ve been there, stuck in a cycle of negativity, feeling like I was just wasting away. Research confirms that staying in this mindset can lead to depression, anxiety, and a lack of enjoyment in life. Being stuck might seem easier because it dodges the hard work of dealing with your emotions. But trust me, it’s not worth it in the long haul.

Why Healing is the Way to Go

Choosing to move forward is, without a doubt, the better choice. It’s not just about getting past the breakup; it’s about opening yourself up to new experiences and possibilities for happiness. There are so many stories, including my own, of people who have weathered their darkest storms, fought their demons, and come out stronger and ready for whatever’s next. These tales prove that bouncing back is possible.

How to Start Moving Forward Based on my own journey, here’s some advice on how to begin the healing process: Reflect on What Happened: Spend time understanding the relationship and what you can learn from it. It’s a tough step, but it’s crucial for growth.

Talk About It: Whether it’s therapy, a coach like myself, a support group, or just opening up to friends, talking helps more than you might think.

Find Joyful Activities: Dive into things that bring you happiness and relaxation. For me, it was picking up old hobbies I’d forgotten about, wondering why I ever stopped.

Be Open to New Experiences: Life’s full of surprises and new joys. Being open to them can lead to unexpected happiness.


Choosing to heal and move on after a breakup is essentially giving yourself a second chance at happiness. It’s a path towards recovery and rediscovery. The end of a relationship isn’t the end of your story; it’s an opportunity to begin anew. And remember, it’s perfectly okay to take things one step at a time. If I knew back then what I know now, I’d have realized sooner that every moment is precious, and it’s never too late to start valuing your time again.

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